The Courage to Listen: How to Improve Your Active Listening Skills
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where you’re nodding along, but your mind is somewhere else entirely?
We’ve all been there. Many of us have never received formal instruction on the vital skill of listening.
Nevertheless, if you want to improve your communication skills and build stronger relationships, you need to become an active listener.
Active listening goes beyond merely hearing the words; it requires giving your undivided attention to the speaker’s words, body language, and voice.
The intention is to understand not only what is being said but also to identify the speaker’s experience and emotions.
Listening also requires courage.
Especially when you don’t like what you are hearing, disagree with what is being said, or dislike the person who is speaking.
It takes courage to suspend your own thoughts and immerse yourself in the speaker’s world, truly hearing and acknowledging their point of view.
It means opening yourself up to different perspectives and setting aside any preconceived notions or biases.
The courage to listen means to listen without judgment.
So, how can you enhance your active listening skills?
Listening mode
First make a conscious decision to listen. Most people don’t listen, simply because they forget to switch on the listening mode. Silence the inner voice that anticipates what will be said and plans your response. It grabs the attention from the speaker to you. When you do it, you’ll realize you come up with a much better and relevant response.
Reflection and empathy:
Take the time to reflect on what the speaker is saying. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their feelings and experiences.
Show empathy by recognizing and validating their emotions. This practice not only helps you comprehend their message but also establishes a deeper connection between you and the speaker.
Mirroring and reframing:
Mirroring is to act like a mirror, your voice and body language and even your choice of words eco that of the speaker.
Reframing is the act of repeating or paraphrasing the speaker’s words to show that you’re actively listening and comprehending their message.
Both mirroring and reframing demonstrate your attention and understanding. It also allows the speaker to clarify or expand on their thoughts if needed.
Briefly repeating and summarizing what you heard BEFORE you respond helps prevent miscommunication and ensures that speaker and listener are aligned.
Questioning:
Asking thoughtful questions shows the speaker that you’re genuinely interested and invested in their ideas.
It encourages them to delve deeper into their thoughts and can lead to more meaningful discussions.
Closed questions can be used for confirmation, or prompt short answers
Open-ended questions that require more than a simple “yes” or “no” help uncover additional insights and foster a productive dialogue.
The courage to listen is an essential trait for effective communication and relationship-building.
It requires a conscious decision and mental effort to set aside your own agenda, embrace vulnerability, and genuinely immerse yourself in the speaker’s world.
By incorporating reflection, empathy, mirroring, questioning, and other active listening techniques into your conversations, you will become a better listener and foster stronger connections.
So, the next time you find yourself engaged in a conversation, summon the courage to listen actively—it can make a world of difference.
